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Them Before You - Officers Eat Last: An Ode to Servant Leadership

5/17/2026

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Licensed Adobe Stock Image.
The sound called out, almost bestial, cutting through the tense kitchen air like a freshly sharpened blade. It was a cry of pain but also panicked surprise. “Do not look." Said the cook next to me in an iron tone. His French was always terse and to the point, but this time especially so. "You keep your eyes on your work."

But the brutal noises which continued across the pass beckoned me and overcame my will to stay on task. Across the kitchen, movement and spraying water. The shrieking intensified. The chef had the dishwasher by the back of his shirt and had physically stuffed him into the dishwashing machine that was still running. The hot water scalded the man's face, hands, and neck as he was forced in, then the door was repeatedly slammed down onto his ribs and torso as he screamed.

"Plus Vite! Plus Vite! Putain!" Bellowed our chef. That was the daily constant refrain that we all heard. Speed up or face the pain.

In this case, we were all at work on the Seventh Day for a private party. The restaurant was closed on Sundays, but we were there. A five-course tasting menu that required us to "flip" the same plates from one course to the next, with the dishwasher needing to wash and cool them all in a very short time. He had not done it fast enough, and now we all listened as he suffered.

But this was not unexpected in the Michelin world in France. At that time, and decades before, the chef was like the king and the kitchen his castle, the cooks his vassals, his peasants, his serfs. We were lucky to be there, and we knew it. Just getting in requires an incredible series of luck, skill, and connections. Staying in required intense dedication to learning, as well as the quick development of armor-thick skin.

You just hoped today was not your day. Many times, it was my day, but those are stories for another episode; this day, the chef’s rage was dedicated only to Ali, and it was something that he, and obviously I too, would never forget. Imagine that happening in 2026 in America—lawsuit, terrible press, business closure, etc. Luckily, so many things have changed from “how things used to be” in that kind of kitchen, and obviously, this is an extreme example of the cooks serving at the pleasure of their king.

While not everyone will subscribe to today's more modern approach to leadership, and some still long for the autocratic days of boss-hood, this stands as a great example of the opposite of what I now fully believe to be the most productive approach to not only cheffing, but also leadership in general: Servant Leadership. By embodying this incredible approach, we can consistently align a team for buy-in, engagement, and high performance, as well as tenure.

For sure, Servant Leadership is at odds with the historical model of kitchen leadership. In many cases, skills and a strong personality lead to a cook's ascension through the ranks, from chef de partie to sous chef, chef de cuisine, executive sous chef, and executive chef. But one of my favorite "keeper lines” from the journey is “not every good sous chef does a great line cook make." In other words, cooking skills and leadership skills can literally have nothing to do with each other.
“Only the highest-level clubs will aim for this, but it is one of the true markers of industry excellence, and your ability, as a chef, to make it happen relies on your leadership skills. You can try to scare 'em into cooking better, but that, at best, is a short-term win. Checkers vs. chess. If we want to win the long game, we need to serve those who work under our influence.” 
High-level cooking skills, whether natural or learned, often come with a personal intensity that is conducive to self-development and success in the fires of the kitchen (Mordor), but often not in favor of the wellbeing of other cooks and peripheral service staff. Due to those superlative skills, personality politics, battlefield promotions, and all the other reasons that exist for advancement in our relatively chaotic work milieu, those who end up on top are not often built for a leadership style in which the group's wellbeing is prioritized.

​That is all said to underscore the challenges involved in implementing and maintaining a team-first operating model. Yes, it is hard, but it is doable. And while it can take a while to build, once in place, the benefits are incredibly fulfilling for all involved.

For those who read the second part of the Food Is Humanity in the Age Of AI  blog, this directly addresses the importance of creating a powerful, skillful, and passionate team that can infect your membership with the incredible club "amenity" of food of the highest caliber.

Whether that is a shot towards Michelin-level cuisine in fine dining, or an incredible and creative burger special in all-day dining, or the best damned chicken nuggets in the world out by the pool, all of these are opportunities to provide value, happiness, and, yes, Humanity, to your members everywhere they go across your property.
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Licensed Adobe Stock image.
In A Better World

As a cook in the American kitchen, you are only as good as your last foie gras, lobster, filet mignon, hamburger, or order of chicken nuggets. So, when it is 'fend for yourself,' the kitchen can feel like a lonely and hostile place. You mess up, you get yelled at. Work too slowly and get yelled at. Your intelligence feels constantly in question, as does your overall ability level. The mood of your boss determines what kind of day it is, and you are always thinking about how to placate and please that person to get through.

Imagine the situation being flipped. Not only did you feel like you had a powerful asset on your side, but you could also explain the nuanced challenges you faced at your station and receive coaching, communication, assistance, new and better equipment, etc. Imagine your chef’s ego not being the deciding factor in almost every decision. 

Imagine conflict with coworkers being addressed and resolved in a calm, professional way, and having someone there to remove obstacles from your path and to bring glory to the members you serve—empathy working in your favor.

I certainly remember my experiences, and they are not so different from those of today's young cooks. But for some, this comes across as trite. “They are just employees; we pay them to work.”

Sounds lame, you say. I hear you. So, let’s look at the benefits of servant leadership through a couple of different naysayer lenses: 

First one. "This is all just hippy-dippy, free love bull crap. As a theory, it might be nice, but in practice, it has no backbone and yields no real results. When we sit around fussing over the workers' feelings, we will get nothing done."

To that somewhat common point of view, consider this. "Officers eat last" is a phrase belonging to the United States Marines. The theory behind it is that officers will make sure all their soldiers are fed before they take a plate of their own. It is the sacrifice of personal comfort for the group's wellbeing. Despite my rank, my goal is that you are safe before I am. Selfless leadership, focused on the wellbeing of the troops, builds a culture of trust in what are sometimes life-and-death circumstances. Trust that ends up being everything when the bullets start flying.

Mark Gallaudet, a lifelong Executive Chef and current General Manager of the Plantation Country Club in Ponte Vedra, Florida, is one of my best friends and a person with whom I spent 12 years in the food and beverage trenches, both in Asia and in America. He is also a Marine. On a recent call, I asked him for his take on this philosophy, and he said: "Having managed everything from Marine Corps Chow Halls to Elite Private Member Clubs and Communities around the world, the one thing that has always stayed with me and shaped me as a leader is the following: Accomplish the Mission and Take Care of the Troops."

Although simple in verse, it takes a true leader to recognize and follow through on such a basic statement. These are two fundamental and inseparable responsibilities of leadership, placing the care and welfare of your team ahead of your own, while ensuring mission-critical success.

This is absolutely servant leadership, and Mark is one of the best leaders I've ever been around. I've never met a person who thought the Marines were soft. So, if servant leadership is worthy of their choosing, aren't they worthy of ours?

Second one. "I don't have time to deal with everyone's needs and emotions. I run a busy ship, and while this sounds nice, I don't have the time to get it to work.”

This model indeed takes time to implement. Especially if it is not in the chef's fundamental nature to act and think in this way about their people. Learning to deal with others' emotions is not simple. It is exhausting in a way that is not physical but mental. Even with the effort required, though, these skills are SO worth investing in.

On a recent trip, I interviewed high-performing service leaders at one of Asia's top five-star hotels and one dining room manager, Jerome, who said something that really resonated with me. "To get the best out of your team, it's all about knowing them closely, you have to know them, know them, know them.

What moves them, what bothers them, what are their challenges at work and outside work? If you listen with care, they will tell you. Then you must remember. Not in-one-ear-out-the-other.

It takes effort, but if the outcome is a high-functioning team that pays attention to the details of doing what is right for the group and its members, then is this not the most important work you will do as a leader? If putting this first brought your culinary operation closer to the goal by miles, wouldn't you make it a priority?

Yes, we are all busy, but focusing on serving your team is absolutely worth the time spent.

For a moment, let's look at it another way: what it costs you and your club to not focus on this:
  • Turnover as a dollar value. Much has been made of this. The time and cost of the talent search, interview time on the kitchen and HR sides, background check, drug test, onboarding, orientation, and weeks of training. Oof. When good people leave because they feel unrespected, unappreciated, unsupported, or undervalued in their work for you, then bummer. Costly bummer.
  • Turnover as an inhibitor to member satisfaction. Those same invaluable long-term staff who know the club lore and way of life better than the last three GMs combined have a value even greater than dollar signs; they understand and deliver what the members are there for. That is almost inexplicable with words, the feeling of being cared for.
  • When you lose those girls and guys for the reasons mentioned above, the greatest loss is to the membership. Just like growing your hair back after a bad haircut, there is no speeding up time. New hires will not need months, but years, to figure out the ways of your club. Losing employees like that is starting over on trust for the members being served. And just like that haircut, you can't speed up the earning of trust either.
  • Employee engagement metrics. Many companies and clubs highly value the metrics involved in employee engagement. From an operator's point of view, reviewing the data from staff surveys really highlights what they already know: which teams have bought in, and which have not.

Buy-in can't be manufactured on the level of passion, and it certainly isn’t created at the point of a bayonet. Teams that are bought in feel safe, respected, listened to, and cared for by the business. And who represents the business in their eyes? You!

If you have ever watched a team with no buy-in while working, it is truly a horror to behold. From the members' perspective, it is palpable and greatly detracts from their experience, no matter how good the golf is.
Ask your board members how they would feel about having a dead service culture and see what they say. 
Unacceptable.

Employee emotional buy-in results in significantly higher member satisfaction scores. The ownership and investment in oneself are incredibly valuable to both membership and the team. When we are cared for and operate with high personal morale, we give of our true selves more freely. We laugh, we smile, we provide an intangible service quality that is hard to measure but easy to feel.
"First and foremost, as leaders, we need to spend time being present with our teams. In life, time is the ultimate currency, and investing our time in them is very valuable."
Now let's weigh some of the upsides:

Increased Engagement and Motivation: When cared for and listened to, team members are more likely to bring new ideas, connect more positively with coworkers, and put their heart into their work.

Increased Accountability: A team in which everyone pulls their own weight and proactively holds each other accountable produces significantly higher quality work. High performers will quickly abandon an environment when coworkers are not held accountable for the quality of their work.

Stronger Collaboration: When your team works in unison and sings from the same songbook, anything is possible in creating food and beverage experiences that your members will feel on a deeper level.

The Value of Loyalty: What is the cost of loyalty? In life, in marriage, in friendship, in business, in hospitality? Hard to even discuss the price. When team members are loyal, they are not employees; they are ambassadors. Ambassadors of more than just a brand, they willingly and happily embody the culture's values.

The Disproportionate Value of Longevity: Longevity is weird in clubs. In all aspects of our industry, long tenure has value, but in a club it has value apart from, and above, position, title, income, etc. Being present in the creation of the club lore, the social fabric, and the trust is what places certain staff members in the 'sacred' category. Almost all clubs have them. This cannot be sped up, and the status will not be granted to a newcomer, no matter how well-known they are in another club.

In conclusion, servant leadership is a style of leadership that requires focus and time to develop and implement in a club's kitchens, but is clearly worth the effort. Certainly, better than getting jammed into a working dishwashing machine! Despite seeming soft and overly time-consuming, this is a modus operandi that yields incredible results and high-performing F&B teams for clubs. And after all, if servant leadership is good enough for our greatest heroes in uniform out there fighting the good fight, it could very well be good enough for us, too.

by Matthew Gilbert,
Culinary Director,
Medinah Country Club.
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